


Grant me light and hope

by TheFallenValkyrie



Series: Happy Endings? We talk sometimes. [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, M/M, Senju Hashirama (mentioned he dead af), Senju Tobirama-typical wariness of the uchiha clan, Tenderness, no beta we die like Tobirama against the Kinkaku Unit, smut MAYBE
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28796151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheFallenValkyrie/pseuds/TheFallenValkyrie
Summary: Tobirama never thought of himself as a good man quite the opposite, you don't get the moniker “white demon of the senju” by being nice like his brother. He also never thought that peace was  something to ever consider in his life, being born into war, loosing his younger brothers to it, he never thought he would make it past the age of 15, and surely not to witness a village being create under the efforts of both Senju and Uchiha.-----A piece of my collection I am working on
Relationships: Senju Tobirama/Uchiha Kagami
Series: Happy Endings? We talk sometimes. [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2111253
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	Grant me light and hope

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I am not a native speaker and English is the 3rd language I write in so please excuse mistakes!  
> 2\. I rarely have a beta (aka my autocorret on my cellphone) so it's likely that formating and words are a little wonky *Finger guns*
> 
> Enjoy💗

Tobirama never thought of himself as a good man quite the opposite, you don't get the moniker “white demon of the senju” by being nice like his brother. He also never thought that peace was something to ever consider in his life, being born into war, loosing his younger brothers to it, he never thought he would make it past the age of 15, and surely not to witness a village being create under the efforts of both Senju and Uchiha.

There are many things Tobirama thought weren’t meant for him, love being one of them. A blood drenched warrior like him had no intention on tainting someone, his Clansmen agreed on that. Even with him being the Clanshead brother it never stoped them threating him as some kind of bad omen. It always has been like that, and at some point he started to belive them. 

So when a certain Uchiha looked at him what one would describe as adoration and admiration instead of fear and disgust he first didn’t want to entertain that idea. An Uchiha not hating him? Laughable, he shouldn't hope for the impossible.

But Uchiha Kagami never showed that distateste or fearful look some of his clansmen showed when passing him on the streets, no, there was never a day that Kagami did not greet him with a honest smile and that same look of adoration. What probably made him realise that he had fallen for the raven was after the funeral of his Brother. He had yet to accept that Hashirama had fallen in battle _he fell on my watch I failed him, I failed my clan, the village_ a constant reminder.

While the village was mourning he was expected to keep going, his brother elected him as the next hokage with his dying breath. And so he did just that, kept going, while the village stood still he had to keep walking, max out the protection of the gates, work out the kinks of the weaker points of the village. For mourning or a normal sleep schedule was no time. 

But the human body could only take that much. He felt a presence in his office, but his body simply refused to obey, like he was paralysed. A gentle hand on his shoulder and a soft voice he knew all to well calmed the rising dread in him. “This is not good for your health at all Nidaime sama, you should rest for the next days.” Kagami said with a bento in his hand “ I took the liberty and prepare some food for you, it’s not much but I am pretty sure you haven't eaten today at all” finally his body deciding that he may move now he made a mental note to not let Kagami know that he hadn't eaten at all the last days he spend hogged up in his office. He eyed Kagami once more then took the Bento Box from the outstretched hand of the Raven. He was not used of people caring for him like this.

While yes his body needed the rest, he felt worse now, in this big home that he , Hashirama and Mito used to share. Mito decided she would rather spend the next months living with her Sons Family, little Tsunade still didn’t quite understand why her favorite Grandma isn’t accompanied by her favorite Grandpa anymore. Mito said she only could properly mourn him if she is not surrounded by things that reminded her of him. Tobirama understood all too well, but he had nowhere else to go, so he stayed, and for the first time since the day his mother died, he felt truly, lonely.

The nights were the worst for him. They felt colder than normally, only now he realized how much he missed that vibrant and warm chakra of his brother he would sense all the time. Instead of sleeping he laid there awake, thinking of all the instances he should have spent more time with his brother, should have let Hashirama hug him more, listen to his rambling about flowers more. 

Now he remembers why he hogged himself in his Office up, without distraction his mind was a minefield of regrets he carried around him all the time, without distraction it forced him to face just how little he had cherished his older brother. 

A knock on his door ripped him out of his thoughts, a glance to the clock had him frowning, who would visit him at this hour? Force of habit had him analyse the chakra standing in front of his door, Firy, warm vibrant but not too much….Kagami? 

He opened the door looking down to where the Uchiha was standing.

“Why exactly are you here at this hour?” he asked the younger man with a passive face.

“I had Guard Duty until now and I was in the area!....I also wanted to talk to you Lord Second.” Kagami replayed while not quite meeting his gaze. Odd normally it was him trying to avert his gaze with every Uchiha he came across, but this was Kagami, loyal, dutiful Kagami.

He allowed to shorter man to enter the hall, who looked a little lost “Down to the left is the opening to the patio…we can talk there.” Kagami nodded and waited for Tobirama to take the lead.

*****

They sat in silence for a while looking at the Garden in front of the patio. The moon shining above giving the scene in front of them a serene feeling. 

“It’s a very beautiful Garden. I can see why the Yamanaka are so enchanted by flowers now.” Kagami said, breaking the silence. Tobirama took a while before responding “My Brother cultivated it. He loved planting every flower he came across. When I went out on longer missions into foreign terrain I’d make sure to get him samples of the local flora and fauna that he could plant.”

Kagami looked at the scene in front of him, then back at Tobirama. Carefully he approached him, taking one of his hands into his.

“Tobirama-sama….why are you doing this to yourself?” Tobirama wanted to flinch away, just where did that question come from? “Wha-“ “Why don’t you allow yourself to mourn? Why do you keep hurting yourself like this?...i know people belive you to be heartless, if the rumors are anything to go by, but I know very well that you aren’t. You hide your feelings away, but now you don’t have to, you are allowed to cry, to _feel_.”

“What makes you think that I am doing that?” Tobirama did not like the way Kagami managed to rip his carefully constructed mask off, even if his words rang truth.

“My father had the same look on him when my Mother died, and I can tell you, It will destroy you in the long run” Kagami said with such certinely he didn’t dare to doubt him on his words. Still Tobirama thought there isn’t much that can be destroyed, he is already a broken man. When was the last time he cried? Hashirama was always the more emotional one of them two, he cried openly over Kawarama and Itamas too early death while Tobirama had to stand between him and his father, tears where a weakness he could not allow to show in front of that man. 

Kagamis hand left his and he already started to miss the gentle touch, not for long though, Kagami moved in front of him, and then he found himself in an embrace, not like the one he got from his brother, no, it was more careful, caring…comforting. His Body reacted before his mind processed what was going on and returned the embrace.

“You are allowed to cry, you are Human Tobirama..” he whispered while stroking gently Tobiramas back and while Tobirama would deny it with his dying breath, he felt something inside him break. 

And after so many years since the day his mother had died, he allowed himself to cry once more for all those years where he held himself back.

**Author's Note:**

> Titel inspired by the Song Temperance- Æther Realm  
> Please comment!


End file.
